My little sister got married in October. It was pretty fun, I helped her with the visuals and pretty much bossed her around which she was fine with. We pretty much had a disco picnic vibe going on.


I had to make a speech, the idea was pretty traumatic, luckily the best man has equally bad social skills. So, armed with cocktails and deep breathing we did it. I dare say that we could basically be public speakers now, incredibly drunk public speakers.

I thought I would share the speech. She married one of my old friends from highschool, they started dating a couple of years ago which was funny, sweet and random. They got married in Rockport at this old Golf Club that is seriously haunted. I was all alone and things were flying off the walls and when I arranged the chairs, they would move ever so slightly back to where they were before. When the DJ showed up way too late, I decided he was a murderer and almost didn’t let him in to set up. He showed me some equipment, I decided that was a lot of effort to pretend to be a red-headed hipster DJ in the middle of the night at a haunted Golf Club so I eventually let him in, I ran out the door to my car quickly after he set up and the next day he told me about how haunted it was while he was there, he too ran like crazy out of there. I was at a donut shop the next morning and I told the boy at the counter where the wedding was and where I was from and the first thing he said was “OH MY GAWD THAT PLACE IS WICKED FRICKIN’ HAUNTED!!!!!” then “You live in Friday Hahbah? My favorite frickin’ movie was filmed there, Practical Magic!!” Hilarious.


His favorite movie. Like in the world. But, hot donuts. So good. I secret ate one before I got back to the hotel. Sorry kids. We do what we have to do.
The flowers were so lovely and designed by ForĂȘt seriously amazing and totally get it.
How pretty does my sister look?
Then, someone named Ry broke her nose. Right after the ceremony. Bloody and bruised, not a spot on her dress FYI she seriously partied. All. Night. Long.

If you want to see my speech that I made without peeing my pants or barfing, .

“You know, Matt may have thought that Mara’s head was too big for her body but as I recall, Matt’s pants were WAY too big for his. Matt and I went to high school together, we were in the same class. We ran in the same circles and I thought about him sometimes, something along the lines of…I wonder how Matthew is doing?, he was always nice and I don’t think he ever pissed me off, trust me, it’s super easy to piss me off, so that’s huge. But really, the thing that always stuck with me about Matt after all these years was how kind he was, even as a teenage boy.
And Mara, my sister, I’ve known for far longer, through many phases in our lives, I’ve seen her and how she interacts with her close friends, I’ve seen her act tough, brave, fierce but there is something about Mara, that maybe her closest friends and family know, that some people who may have just recently met her might not know….her heart is this incredible, tender and open place to the people she loves. She sticks by you no matter what, she has your back. And Matt, I have never, in my entire life seen her love someone the way that she loves you. You, Matt have her heart, and with the risk of being clichĂ©, it is in fact, in your hands. I don’t think that there is another human on earth that I would trust that with other than you.
On the day of my own wedding when I was one second away from puking with fear of being in front of a lot of people staring at me (I should mention now, that I have terrible stage fright, so this speech is traumatic for me–that’s how much I love you two) I was freaking out, on my wedding day. Panicking I kept asking “Do you think Mom would have liked him? Do you really think so?” To which she quickly replied “YES!” When I asked how she could be so sure, she said “Because she didn’t talk about how much she didn’t like him.” And for our mother, like Mara and I, that’s pretty big. So let me take a minute here and say Matt, our mother would have totally loved you. She would have sat on the dock at Pawling with you and talked for hours on pretty much any subject of your choosing. She would have been beaming today, watching Mara walk down the aisle, throwing her head back and laughing at Sianie’s jokes (and maybe even laughing that Sian was now an Internet ordained Minster of the Universal Life Church Modesto California just so she could marry the two of you).
Mara, I love you for the sister you are to me, the best friend you will always be to me and I could not be more happy for you than at this very moment. And Matt, it still feels really funny to say to myself “Matthew Carlone is marrying my sister” because to me you are still that sweet, kind high school boy but with a lot more hair and smaller pants, but really it feels good to know that you are a part of our family. I love you both, and I can not wait to see where life takes you from here.”



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