So last week ended, with Thor and I finally finishing the fingerprinting (huge travel nightmare), every night filled with first aid class, cpr, blood classes dealing with HIV/AIDS, infant first aid too (we had to stay behind), 3 home visits. We’ve also taken over 37 something hours of classes, which I had to attend almost right after spinal surgery. Now we wait, for out fingerprints to come back and one final home check, which terrifies me to no end. I dont know why. Its a totally unfounded fear. Just like getting fingerprinted, my sort of fear of authority totally instilled in me by my super leftist parents. Like someone is going to come and arrest me for just being a red diaper baby. Like dudes in suits are going to show up and be like “Is it true that you still have a shirt that reads ‘I was born in the sewer of capitalism but now I am fighting for a revolution.’ from highschool?” “We understand that you dont like Mickey Mouse or Elmo, so you dont show it to your son, do you realize that is mental abuse?” Just like at the home check I am worried that we dont have any Disney character themed bedding, no cable television or huge giant playsets. It’s insane, I know this. Thor knows that Im being insane too. He tempers my insanity and I test his patience at times..I can be super annoying, really. Balance people! Balance.
Im trying hard not to think that the while system is set up to make parents like us fail, or want to quit. There are some people that we have started to work with who have been super sweet and helpful, but some of the major people we already have had to deal with are super unhelpful and I almost at times feel like I am talking to a telemarketer that has a script in front of them. When I ask questions that arent on the checklist, their computer brain goes crazy and they dont have an answer for me.
Anyway. Thats what we have left. Does the fact that we have always changed Henry’s diaper in a teepee matter? That we dont have a changing table? Then having to do all these things, that seem sort of like common sense…a safety gate around the woodstove. We dont have one now, because we watch Henry and Henry knows what HOT is and he doesnt like it. When first moved here, Koko the cat didnt know it was hot, jumped on it and realized that yes it was hot and she would jump so high she would actually land downstairs. Maybe we are bad cat and kid parents? I just think that kid should not live in padded rooms, because when they leave the house they might be totally unaware of danger on a different level. Yes, Henry still wants to walk straight out into the street without looking, we are working on it. Luckily, our “downtown” is like 4 blocks long and we live outside of town, down a dirt road and the only car on it is mine or grandpa’s. I just want to show them Henry like he is our resume as good parents.
Over the past week I discovered a few things. This great, hilarious and moving blog called fosterhood. Its amazing. I feel as though if we had stayed in NYC we would have been doing the same thing, the fact that she does this for the most part alone as a single working parent is amazing to me. I want to send Rebecca and “Jacket” an invite to the lakehouse while we are in NY, but that might make me a total weirdo. Then this girl found my site. She was a foster kid herself, and now putting herself through school and trying to raise money to go to Africa for Christmas and spend her holiday at an orphanage. We donated. I hope that she gets there.
We are trying to stay on the positive tip since we have only just begun. We have already heard a variety of comments from family, friends and just people we know. To answer a couple of questions, comments etc that we have faced already, here it goes:
1. We are hoping to adopt Henry’s next sibling through the foster care system.
2. No, we don’t think that a foster kid will put Henry’s life in danger.
3. We don’t really think that there are “bad kids” we think that there are kids that require some patience and understanding. We know at times it might not be easy. We are ready for that.
4. We are not doing this for Henry’s benefit, for our benefit. We are not doing this to “get into heaven”.
5. We are hoping to find a kid around Henry’s age or younger. Initially we wanted a much older kid, but were advised that it would be in everyone’s best interest that we not disrupt the birth order too much.
6. We feel guilty about this, because there are a lot of kids over the age of 6 that never get adopted because of age.
7. We feel lucky and excited to meet the child that comes into our life.
8. Yes, you can babysit for free one day. If you are lucky.
9. We hope to help raise another future awesome person like Henry.
10. If you want to ask any other questions, please feel free. Yes, you should considering fostering or adopting out of the foster care system as well. Good and involved foster parents are really needed.
Anyway. We will keep you posted.